The Story That Disappeared

As of all tragedies, they come and they go. Most stick like hot wax on a papery film. Other just breeze by like wind on a hot day. Tragedies are usually built from something that is closest to you, close to your very self. These never go away with time, they replay in your head. You're wondering if there ever was a chance, even the slightest, to change the outcome. And like all good tragedies go, those that stick to the heart; this is the very tragedy that plagues the heart of the author who you are reading. This tragedy, my dear, maybe common or could be rare; never the less it changed the very essence of my being.



This started in an unusual place to see tragedy; yet it's the place to run when you have one. Church. Such irony in a place like this. It's like you were there, people watching, as most Sundays, wondering if anything extraordinary was going to happen. I was young, no more than 10 I believe. A skinny, tall girl with more hair than you ever wanted to deal with. It wasn't necessarily long, it was just distaste of the use of a blow dryer.



My family and I did our usual Sunday routine: wake-up, grumble because you had to wake-up, run to catch the bathroom first, get dressed in something you hadn't worn in the passed month, and look nice for Jesus. We all rode in one car, black Mercedes E-class. We weren't rich, but my father had his mid-life crisis a few years before that and went "luxury". Typically we got to church around 15 til the Mass started and sat in the same section since my birth. It was the right side of the alter, section close to the center isle, and the 5th pue from the front of the section or 3 from the back. Rarely did our seats get taken, everyone from that time knew that we sat there.



My brother, with his antsy legs, decided to be an usher. Nothing big, just stands all Mass and helps people find seats. His "boss", not that they were paid, was a marvelous man. Older, with kind eyes. Always had a smile on his face. Then there was the array of other ushers, young and old. Mostly old. This tradition was set to them, but the younger generation was coming quick to slowly get them out of they job. Of course his leader would never allow that because the young needed the old like the old needed the young. There was a fine line between the wise and the ignornant, one that you shouldn't cross.



To be continued.....

How I Fell in Love with a Redneck: The Beginning

So I decided to write a little story about my life. OK, so it's only a segment, but it's big. It all started Senior year of high school. -I feel so old.- Well anyways, as most stories begin........ Once upon a time, the third quarter of my senior year of high school, I was in b-block. Typical b-block, it was a Scandalous Monday as usual. K and C always had some story to tell, while me and L were kinda stuck in our boy hating. L as usual was fighting her beloved Sweet Pea over something he did or didn't do that weekend. K was after the man that made her wild, but that man seem as fickle as her decision to sleep in class or not. You see, her man or men, -not that there was a crazy amount-, always seem to revolved around a certain religion. You may have guessed it, Jewish. OK OK, so you think it's about the money, but actually it's about the pants. Yes, what's in the pants. As much as she loved a sweet, honest guy; she wanted to be pleasured beyond belief. At times, I was totally with her in her man craze, but truly I just wanted to be loved like she was pleasured, like crazy. Now that leaves C. Now she was the steady one in our crazy group; her relationship with her man. They were crazy about each other and the stories didn't just end on Scandalous Mondays. I believe they started dating either at the end of Junior year or the beginning of senior year. He was a jock, a soccer player. He wasn't anything fancy, but they knew each other since practically out of diapers. -Crazy huh- So, I look at my B-block crew and realize that I, somehow, became the baby of the group. Being the only one with her goodies intact, really didn't help in conversations we've had. Since I wasn't on page, some things went over my head, but not for long. K, C, and L made sure I got the nitty gritty, down to the T. It's a funny friendship, all of us have. We have 2 main things in common: Kinkiness and Reading. -Go figure-

Well let me tell you more about my side of our Scandalous Mondays. I always had some guy that caught my eye, whether it is new friendship, old, or already dated. I seem to have been bit by some defective love bug that made me crazy about anything unusual. My latest craze was this guy that I met at a party. -I know don't do it, but my female side went rhdflkjhfglhdsguhdfhglj- To any normal single or sometimes taken woman, he was the thing you dreamed of. You know the saying," Tall, dark, and handsome." Drop dead handsome. So my B-block crew was excited for me, giving me the usual tips and making sure I didn't fall too hard. -Ha HA HA I did- Well as most relationships go when my mind and gut jump the gun, he left. He disappeared one day out of nowhere. It was devastating. All the girls were there for me of course, but I knew it was my fault, but his loss. -I'm crazy-

Now that your on the page of my life then, let me continue on our day. L of course telling us, about her silly asshole boyfriend that she loved -I had no clue why- relaying the he was now having to call her, for him to get anything. I was totally with her there. This guy seemed to be hanging her on a string and I hated him for it. -Yup I said it, Hating- Somehow in her depressing little story her brother always came up. No big deal really, except for the fact that every time she mentioned him, K perked up and I wondered why she always mentioned him. Of course I knew they were best friends, which I was totally jealous of. My brother and I have that mutual respect for each other at the time. Which works, but I'm the hug-since-you-know-me type of girl. K and C decided that they heard enough about this guy and went to their usual; K read and C text to her boo. I told L to come sit by me or I moved to her, so we can continue. She then continued to tell me about it and I of course told my advice. -Not that she took it or anything- I asked her about her brother, wanting to know how they were so close. She said that they had that quirky type of relationship that happened to work.

Which is kind of funny, if you were on this side of the story, where you knew the ending. L and I have this crazy bond. We instantly hit it off. I think anyone that knew us loved us. We weren't known to be together all the time, but it was there. We have similar personalities and trust me she could claim to that. -Back in b-block of course we didn't know how crazy similar we were.- She is the outgoing, love ya til you make me hate ya, understanding, crazy, spunky, red head. I am me. -snicker- Her brother on the other hand is quiet, quick, and funny. Not that we couldn't be those things, we just love attention. Which brings me back to how they were so close. They were each other's compliments. Someone had to calm down L, while someone had to ruffle up her brother. Luckily for L, she had a man to do those things for her, but her brother didn't have anyone special.